Monday, 5 December 2011

Could it be?

It seems we nearly have a government. I hope they haven't hurried through the negotiations too much - it's only been 540 days. You know, maybe they shouldn't rush into things.

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Absolute must have information

This book:
I can't recommend it enough. It's a way to understand your own fertility/cycles and then make informed decisions about them. I read the whole thing in a day. It's massive but so fascinating I couldn't go to sleep. I can't believe they don't teach this kind of information in schools. We're all being kept stupid, and I'm wondering (along with the author) if the professionals are underestimating women, if they're just wanting to hold onto their own power, or if they want to sell their drugs. It's probably a combination of all three.

I wish I'd read it twenty years ago. Now I have, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the information, but hey. Anyone already familiar/happy/unhappy with the theory/practice - please do leave a comment if you want. I am searching the internet for opinions, but I'd rather have some from you, my trusted readers.

Saturday, 12 November 2011

Remember to breathe

So I do play the piano, and I'm singing Mozart's Requiem in choir, and then there's friends and family - and, oh yes, three children and a husband. Them too. I've been away to practice my Mozart in the forest, and away to just relax with Babes in the hills. I've been doing it right, I think - putting the kids first, and then exercise and good cooking, and relaxing, and learning music, and yet I'm not managing the first thing - I'm not managing to breathe properly. Isn't that silly? I can do mental arithmetic and I can play the piano (with two hands!), I can juggle three kids and a busy social schedule, but I can't manage that very basic trick that most people seem to manage: to keep my breathing steady and under control.

I do wonder - it's not because I'm not writing? Is it?

Sunday, 6 November 2011

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

There's life out there, and it's exhausting

  • I have discovered that if you take up the piano, start night classes at music school, and move your computer up to your bedroom all in the same week, you end up going online roughly once every two weeks.  Also, you will lose "followers," because people don't like it when you don't pay attention to them. Which I get, because I, too, am an attention whore. (Love me, please!)
  • Marie, to Jack's friend: Look at this cup! It's full of my pee!
  • It turns out that commercial house concerts are rather good fun, as long as you have a few drinks beforehand.
  • I may need to move my computer back downstairs. I have been folding laundry and practising the piano during nap time, which cannot really be healthy. I can play a pretty little waltz now, though. And everyone has clean clothes.
  • With my new night class/social schedule, I am at home only on Saturday nights. I'm not sure I can keep this pace going. I must now go and collapse into my bed.

Friday, 16 September 2011

Why the hell not? (x3)

  1. Yesterday, I was driving through the center of Antwerp, on my way to have lunch with An. When I had to slow down to turn a sharp corner, this old lady just got into my car. I barely managed to snatch the child seat out from under her bum. She said she was late getting to the other end of the street, and I wouldn't mind dropping her off of course. It wasn't a question, really. More of a statement. She was all tanned, manicured, high heeled, expensively dressed and coiffed. She left a big cloud of perfume in my car. It made me laugh for the rest of the day. It was just so unexpected.
  2. Going out last week, I had nothing to wear. I did have this beautiful pair of jeans in my wardrobe, but I never wore them because I bought them too long. I always intended to shorten them, but seeing as I never ever complete a sewing task, they now had holes in the bottom of the trouser legs from where I wore them a couple of times and stepped on them with my heels. So I got a big pair of scissors and just cut them off. I now have gorgeous new (slightly frayed) jeans which make my legs look endless. Ever since I did this, I have noticed lots more people with cut off trouser legs. I never even considered it before! It felt most liberating, I must say.
  3. Then finally, I must blush a little. You know my little priorities speech? I can tell you there's been some progress. I now have a space to write (it's in the bedroom, but that's better than in the kitchen) and I have sat there and written a bit. I now have 10,000 words of complete crap. Which is better than no crap at all, but still not exactly what I was aiming for.
    However, I have to eat my book club hat because a lovely friend dropped round and asked me to come back, which made me walk around on little clouds for a day. Who could say no? I have decided I will only read the books I like the sound of, and the other times I will just go along and enjoy the company of thinking women. It's only once a month, and frankly I crave intelligent conversation these days. So - why the hell not?

Friday, 9 September 2011


I gave this big speech to Jack about priorities. He wants to do it all: handball, swimming, music school twice a week, choir, and now... ropeskipping. And it's just too much. For me, for poor Marie and Charlie who have to sit in the car too much, and for him, because he's exhausted already in his second week of school. So I told him he had to drop something. And thank fuck, mercy, and all your combined deities, because he dropped choir, which is a very sad thing, but at the same time I don't have to do the Friday night ride of hell any more in which I take him several towns away through peak time traffic to be in choir from six till eight. Did I mention this was on bloody Friday night, when everyone else is collapsed in their sofas, resting after a hard week's work?

Anyway - back to the theme of the day: priorities. I'm starting my piano lessons next week, and I accidentally booked them for a Tuesday night, which clashes with my once-monthly book club. The double booking was an accident, but when I realised my mistake, it dawned on me that I could use the same speech I just gave to Jack. So, however much it pains me, I have decided that there will be no more book club this year. If I want to finally write something substantial for myself - and what does the world need more than another unpublished "author" who takes herself seriously - I don't need to also read ten books other people picked. I will miss it, but I can only do so much. (Also blogs - this one and others - have to come after the other writing for which I apologise dear reader.) 

The world makes more sense to me now. I was only running Jack to that choir every week because I loved it so much when I was a kid anyway. He needs to find his own amazing experiences, and he will. Hopefully much closer to home. And I am finally sitting down to write a bit more. In between snotty noses, school runs, and ropeskipping drop offs. All I need now is a place to sit down on my own in the evenings. The couple of hours I can find here and there during the day just won't cut it, and sitting on my bed at night with my laptop on my knees may still seem romantic just now, but I'm sure it won't be when my back gives out. A room of my own won't be possible, but perhaps I can find a small corner table.

So, "priorities" is my theme of the week.

Igor will be proud of me. And more importantly, I will, too.