Tuesday, 23 June 2009

Surgery and chickens

Today, I spent most of the day in hospital with my friend May. I mentioned before that she was getting a tummy tuck, and today was the day. I picked her up at seven outside her house, in plenty of time to get to the hospital. On the way I ran out of fuel but we were still early. That's when being overly punctual comes in handy.

At the hospital, May was registered and shown to her room by a couple of very unfriendly hospital staffers. Luckily the nurses were much nicer. The surgery was scheduled for half past twelve, so we had a lot of time to kill. It seemed like I was more nervous than her. When I went to get some lunch, she even fell asleep.

I had to have a little chat with the nurse. The other day, May told me quite matter-of-factly that the last time she had a general anaesthetic, they couldn't get her to go to sleep at first, and after the surgery they couldn't wake her up. She woke up with a nurse literally sitting on top of her, shouting her name. I'm having a hard time accepting anyone would have elective surgery after that, but there you go. She also shared with me that she saw chickens everywhere afterwards and told her (then) husband to get off the floor.

Apparently, the first bit of information was to be shared with the nurses, the second wasn't (oops), but both are allowed on my blog. (May is a big supporter of my new blog life. All day, she went "This would be so funny on your blog" every time we laughed about something.)

The surgery kept being moved to a later time. This surgeon apparently makes everyone come in at the same time in the morning, and then he just picks and chooses who he will operate on throughout the day.

Eventually, a nurse came to do some kinky stuff. She shaved certain areas and did an enema with a crane driver outside the window looking on. (Yes, I was told to blog that, too - the woman has no shame.)

After that, I tried out the remote controlled bed while May was in it. This was entertaining for a while. I did not know you could practically fold it in half, with the person still inside it. (Straight back, bum low, knees high - very funny.) Also, these things can go really high up. Of course, the control freak in me was loving using my friend as a marionette.

After one o'clock, they finally came to take her to surgery. First, she was fitted with some very becoming anti-embolism stockings and a backless gown. The upside was that this left her bum free for a shot of happy drugs.

The surgery itself took forever, but now I've been told it all went fine. Another friend is with her just now, and tells me May is in quite a bit of pain. She's going to be fine, though - so I'm happy. I spoke to May on the phone, and she doesn't sound very happy at all, but then who is when they've just had THAT done to them. (We've all seen it on TV, right?)

Tomorrow, I will be there for the start of visiting time.

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The kids were with my lovely sister An and her man today and obviously had the best time ever. I keep being told about playgrounds and ice creams and trips on public transport. They were only there for less than 24 hours! And it was An's birthday. (Happy birthday!!!) They're so going there again. After I get to have her for a bit to take her out for a nice birthday dinner.

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I just got a phonecall from May, on her mobile, to tell me that her boyfriend, who is overseas and in the military, can only come to visit tomorrow because today there wasn't enough space in the hospital parking lot for his plane or helicopter. Methinks she is high on drugs.

5 comments:

  1. I'm glad she woke up! She sounds like an extremely amusing woman. Let us know the results of this surgery when the healing is completed.

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  2. @Ms. Moon - Yes, she's the funniest. And I'm very happy she woke up, too. I'm hoping the results will be as she hoped.

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  3. I laughed at that last bit, class.

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  4. @Xbox - I know, I laughed, too, but it's also kind of tragic. Poor thing.

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  5. You're a great friend...not everyone would do that for their friend. Some won't even do that for their family.

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