Got to love my visitors

Know your visitor by their google query. My visitor is a bored, horse penis ogling, poop obsessed naturist, with slightly dominating tendencies.
I'm going to add some comments and links, that way if anyone searches for the same terms in the future, they will hopefully come to this post and be helped better than they would have been in the past.

• naturism is my most used search term, after the name of my site. Fine by me. Not all that relevant, perhaps?
  
• i gotta get outta here is also popular. I can just see these poor people sitting in a cubicle at their desk, thinking about banging their heads off the wall, but instead they google their deepest desire. Welcome, if that's you. Please think about changing jobs. However, don't just quit this second, because there is a recession on, people. Start looking, though.
  Actually, I suppose it could be a desperate housewife, too. Do stick around. I sympathise. Try beer and blogging.
  
• Related to the above, we have "i need to get out of the house" in german. Babelfish may have been a better choice than me, but who am I to judge.
• "see me naked". Fine, but you didn't send me a picture. (Here's hoping this doesn't open up a can of worms.)
• exhibitionist blog - poor person must be quite disappointed, unless they were meaning it in a figurative or emotional sense.
  
• how not to decorate cast - I'm imagining a broken leg, plastered up. Treating this as a "dear Abby", I would say stay away from Nazi themes as well as pornography. Embarrassing when you visit elderly relatives.
• i had to go number two toilet embarrassed - what am I, a self-help group? I never even wrote about that one time. I feel bad for you, though. Perhaps you want to leave your story in the comments.
• pictures.of.horse.penis - glad I could oblige.
• planning is looking forward - very philosophical, thank you.
• safe toilet syndrome - very important phenomenon. I can help.
  
• what is naturism like - it's fine people, it's mostly just people who don't like clothes. The sex-obsessed ones are nudists. Chill.
• what is scottish barbecue - this is.
  
• you have nuts now translate - depending on where you put the comma(s) in there, I can see some very different uses for that sentence.
• when you poop on a plain where does it go? Quite.
• your hot in belgium translation - Thanks!

Can I just say, for the stupider part of the English-speaking community (none of my regular readers, obviously, but perhaps some of my random visitors): there is more than one language apart from English. So if you're looking for a translation, you need to specify the language you would like to translate to. Just saying.