I'm learning... slowly

Some things I'm glad to know now:

• I learned this week that you can turn that blasted word verification thing off! (Thanks, Debbie.) And I haven't had any funny messages. Turns out I was annoying you all for no reason. Sorry! I've stopped now.
• Other people have knobbly sternums, too.

Some things I wish I hadn't found out:

• The ending of the West Wing.
  I got the whole series on DVD (best birthday present ever, not counting my lovely laptop), and I'm at the start of series seven now, but I know how it ends because I like reading the New York Times and they kept mentioning the parallels between that and Obama's election. Thanks guys!
• The whole "orange juice has more calories than coke" thing.
  Now I can't even have healthy drinks? I'm so bored - for about a year now, all I've drunk is water and tea with skimmed milk. And alcoholic stuff, of course, but that doesn't count.
• The beauty of the iPhone.
• After going to the gym, I don't only look like I've been running in the rain, it also looks like I've peed myself. What's that about? I don't pee myself in the gym. I think my butt cheeks must be channelling the sweat or something. NOT a good look.
• Every instance of something that will definitely without a doubt tomorrow give me cancer. (Mobile phones - anything electronic, really - most foods, most drinks, most outdoor activities, ... life, basically.)
  

Some things I wish I'd known earlier so I wouldn't have made such a fool of myself:

• I used to be convinced that fireworks were fired in a two step process. First, the explosive is sent into the air. Then a guy on the ground has to take a rifle and shoot the thing, clay pigeon style, or it won't go off. I believed this for many years because my father told me.
• My father-in-law managed to convince me very (very very) briefly of the existence of leprechauns. He made it sound so convincing. Small island off the coast of Ireland, little people. If pygmees exist, why not a tribe of little Irishmen? I figured they were, say 1m20 or so.
• (I'm not adding the gym trouser thing. I wish I didn't know that. I've been blissfully unaware for a long time. I do not want to buy new trousers. I can handle embarrassment in front of total strangers as long as I'm not aware of it.)