So I'm driving along congratulating myself on how mindful I am these days, especially in traffic. This woman - middle aged, blonde coiffed short hair, managerial air, big fat gray BMW - starts driving so close to my butt I'm considering reporting her for sexual assault. Two ticks later I am involved in an arms race of annoying traffic behaviour.
I look around, face wide-eyed. "Hey lady, back off!" She comes a bit closer. I look around again, gesturing she should keep some distance. I come up to a slow truck and have to slow down. She pulls a face, stays just as close. I am checking out the road ahead when I notice her starting to overtake both me and the truck. All my impulses go "not so fast there, lady" and I pull out in front of her at the last second to also overtake the truck. I was first in the queue. "Ha, that will teach you." When she flies past me, I flip her a finger and call her an idiot. She flips me the finger back. "How dare you, you started it!" I flip her another one.
Jack is very happy with his new skill, flipping the lady his finger too, and calling her an idiot. It's like he's holding up a mirror to me and just like that all my aggression is gone. I'm a moron sometimes.
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Oh dear...
ReplyDeleteCan we pass it off as baby signing? Maybe middle finger can mean.. umm... up??
I'm reaching I know...
Oh I don't know. Being rude to BMW drivers is a useful life skill. You can't start too early.
ReplyDeleteIt's never to early to learn defensive driving skills?
ReplyDeleteBwahahahaha! Wait, am I not supposed to laugh?
ReplyDeleteI must admit to becoming very rule-bound and intolerant when I'm driving. In our house, we refer to people like the BMW driver as "special".
ReplyDeleteLession number one in drivers ed.
ReplyDeleteChapter 1 - The proper flip.
I'm a moron often in that case. The finger is a mandatory driving device anyway, he'd need to learn it at some point!
ReplyDeleteAt least you only called her an idiot. I don't swear in front of the children... unless we're in the car. Ahem.
ReplyDeleteThe middle finger (in British Sign Language) is actually the sign for potty, so well done Jack!
Nah. Sometimes the only appropriate response is the middle finger. And it's never too early for our children to learn this.
ReplyDeleteOh goodness. So it's like that everywhere?
ReplyDeleteSome of my very best friends have intense road rage. It's all good. Hey, maybe she's telling the very same story around her dinner table, eh?
I called my husband sneaky so now my daughter asks if he is sneaky today. I rock this motherhood gig!
ReplyDelete@Josie - At lunchtime, he was trying to do it again, and he used his index finger. So sweet. I corrected him, of course, and taught him properly.
ReplyDelete@Iota - My parents are BMW drivers. :-)
@Meghan - :-)
@Aunt Becky - You were. I laughed. You're ok.
@Expat mum - I go from being absolutely anal about the rules to speeding and bending the rules, depending on if I'm late, the company I'm with, and probably the time of the month.
@Erin - Check. Next lesson?
@Lady Mama - Well, he is now proficient.
@Sandy Calico - Potty! Excellent. I'll teach Marie it as well then. She's potty training.
@Ms. Moon - I have to say I agree with you. I was more embarrassed about pulling out between the BMW and the truck.
I love to swear - sometimes only a profanity will do - but I married a real Scotsman, and a lot of them have different rules for the kids, getting all prim with them. There's no way I can never swear around the kids, though.
@allthistrouble - It's a universal phenomenon, I'm afraid.
@GingerB - You and me both. :-)
ha - funny.
ReplyDelete