Last night, before going to bed, I was sitting on the toilet (just setting the scene) and I told Babes, who was brushing his teeth, that my life is a lot easier if I can just have alcohol every night. If I have my first glass at five, making dinner is a lot more pleasant. Then my second glass when I sit down to eat makes the neverending "don't play with your food" go by so much quicker. In fact, half the time I don't care they're playing with their food, and I'm just having a giggle with the kids. These two glasses are enough to get through an evening without stress. They are enough to help me through my part of the bedtime routine as well. They just take the edge off, so I can be more present with the kids and the urge to criticise is replaced by the urge to tell stories, sing songs and generally have a good time.
Add to this a cup of tea first thing in the morning "to wake up." Then another mid-morning "to warm up." Another one with lunch, and one while blogging. Then a cup after the school run during homework time. I'm not talking camomile tea. It's proper strong British tea. I drink it all day and often all night.
I've always been scared of pills, drugs, mood-altering, mind-altering substances, but who exactly am I kidding here? I love me some chemicals. Just the legal, over-the-counter ones.
I'd been resisting the alcohol lately. Didn't buy beer, only had a glass with friends, never on a regular night at home. A few days ago I thought fuck that and the last three nights I had a few drinks again. Man, oh man, it was like coming home. Everything is better. I'm such an uptight person, and a couple of drinks unwind me so beautifully. I'm sure the kids would agree.
This is all very much on my mind, because for various reasons I have decided to go back to my non-drinking state (starting tomorrow ;-) ) and to cut out the regular tea (also starting tomorrow ;-) ). I'm not even sure it's so clever. Surely people (me, for example) use these mind-altering substances for a reason. Tea keeps me going without consuming any sugar (caffeine, I love you), and alcohol is my friend (my friend, I tell you). Who exactly am I doing a favour by cutting them out?
Any thoughts? Also - if anyone could tell me how to stay awake without tea or sugar, and sane after five o'clock without alcohol, please tell me?
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I, too, need caffeine to get through the day. There is just no way around it. As far as alcohol goes, well... I'm not much of a drinker.
ReplyDeleteI say don't ditch the tea! :) I don't drink much alcohol either. I have one drink maybe every couple of months. The man loves his (Belgian) biertjes but I'm happy with a glass of Cola light - that's my downfall.
ReplyDeleteI like both my tea (Earl Grey, with milk) and my evening glass of wine, but I find it much easier to give up the wine. In fact, I don't think I could give up tea (I didn't even when I was pregnant). But what's really wrong with tea anyway? I thought there were loads of studies saying it was full of healthy anti-oxidants or something....
ReplyDeleteI don't drink alcohol. But I do drink an awful lot of coffee.
ReplyDeleteMaybe take up a new hobby! Calligraphy, crochet, knitting, kickboxing, yoga, writing, painting, nature walks?
Having decided and descibed that these things help you through the day, I'm missing the paragraph that tells me why you want to cut them out.
ReplyDeleteWhatever, mate is actually quite good as an alternative to tea - it wakes you up nicely without any caffeine (so no caffeine shakes either), keeps you bright, but doesn't interfere with sleep. I don't bother with all the little gourds and straws though - I just make it like I'd make a strong tea. Heresy.
My only alternative to a glass of wine in the evening though, is a G&T r a shot of Jack Daniels, so not much help there, I'm afraid.
My personal-and I will freely admit that it IS personal, due to my own life-belief is that if you need wine to unwind and not get so uptight about things, it is probably good to stop drinking it every night. But again, that's just me. As for the caffeine goes, though, I also personally don't see the point; I would not make it through the day without coffee, and have no desire to ever even contemplate it.
ReplyDeleteI can live without wine every day, but I can't live without my morning coffee. Well, I COULD live, but I'd be sluggish and crabby and have a wicked caffeine withdrawal headache.
ReplyDeleteI'm a lightweight. A glass of wine or a beer makes me loopy. If I combine it with my kids, it makes me edgy and aggravated. Not so good.
No wonder you're sitting on the potty!
ReplyDeleteGod, tea is the only thing that keeps me alive! Black with lots of sugar, the milk is unnecessary for the fix so I just leave it out. ("Black and sweet, like my MEN!" I always exclaim, sitting next to my white, embarrassed looking husband)
ReplyDeleteTea and toast, but you know this.
I haven't the constitution for wine. It makes me slurry and jittery (or more slurry and jittery) and is not conclusive to serious writing now that I am serious writer. Though perhaps that is just because I'm not used to drinking. Maybe the answer is to drink MORE.
You need to teach me in the ways of drinking I think Mwa...
(oh and less wine more tea is my advice xx)
The idea of needing it every night is what scares me off the wine. And I agree that it helps you/me have a laugh with the kids... now. But what about 5 years from now, you know? A couple weeks ago I had one glass too many (three instead of two) and ended up crying all night. Cried while I washed the kids' hair. Cried while I got their PJs. Cried, cried, cried.
ReplyDeleteBut good God, don't give up the tea :)
ReplyDeleteI keep thinking about this too! I often have a glass or two in the evening, but only when I know I don't have to do anything (like sew bloody Halloween costumes). And then I think I shouldn't 'cause it's bad for me. But then if I like it, what's wrong with it? I could drink tea all day but usually forget, and I don't like coffee.
ReplyDeleteThe reason I'm cutting down on the wine is because of calories. When you get to your 40s you need a lot less calories per day and the wine in the evening is making my time on the eliptical a bit of a waist. I mean waste!
Actually, another reason not to drink every night is that when your kids get a little older, they start making smarmy comments about it, which definitely isn't good for me or them.
Basically you can't. Or, I can't. I love a small glass of wine while I'm cooking dinner, and perhaps another later in the evening when the kids are down. I start my day with tea and then move on to 2 cups of filter coffee and 1 latte. I have no intention of ever giving up caffeine or alcohol.
ReplyDeleteMost people are happiest when they have balance in their lives.
ReplyDeleteI find tea, water, wine in rotation throughout the day works best for me.
x
I am so with you on this one.
ReplyDeleteI don't drink tea (and yes I'm English) but I love my coffee and a good class of cool wine.
Not sure why I would want to do without them?
And as I'm over 21, I pretty sure I won't have to do without them.
x
Tea is great. I used to drink lots, but stopped early in the evening because I'd read it keeps you awake. Then when I was in hospital we were give tea seven times a day, with the last one coming at 9.30 at night, yet I had no trouble sleeping, so now I have it as late as I like.
ReplyDelete@Badass Geek - The caffeine. I do wonder if life wouldn't be just as good without having the addiction in the first place, a bit like cigarettes.
ReplyDelete@Fatbrideslim - Yeah, I'm off the Coke altogether. I used to drink at least a litre of the non-diet stuff a day, but stopped a few years back when my stomach threatened to report me.
@nappy valley girl - I suppose. I drink Tetley with low fat milk, by the way. I just think it's this feeling of needing it that I don't like. If I don't have my tea I feel a bit out of sorts.
@erin - Yeah, writing. Why didn't I think of that? ;-)
@Pueblo girl - I LOVE G&Ts. Love. Having a lot of alcoholics in my family makes me question the wisdom of having them every night, though. And then there's my weight. Giving up alcohol was the first thing in months that made a difference. Just two of my reasons for giving up...
@Kori - I have the same intuition there - I should have different ways to unwind. And I do, just not while the evening rush is on. I suppose the alcohol is the chemical way to achieve the feeling I get after putting my feet up.
@michelle - Lucky I never started to drink coffee or smoke. I'm such a natural addict.
@Erin - :-)
ReplyDelete@Josie - No sugar for me. I'm a bit diet-obsessed these days, so only low fat milk goes in my tea. I like your way of embarrassing your husband, though. That's a good one.
I will indeed have to teach you in the ways of drinking. Maybe we should meet up for a quick introduction sometime.
@Steph - I'm worried about five years from now as well. Because I have felt in the past that it only takes a few weeks for me to start checking the clock earlier and earlier to see how long it is until I get a drink. One of the reasons I'm stopping, too. (Gosh, there are so many!)
@Expat mum - I worry about the calories, too. I'm not in my 40s and my waist is not so bad, but beer goes straight to my bum and thighs.
@Lady Mama - The coffee I don't do, and I think the love for alcohol will stay with me. I just have to cut down sometimes, because I get addicted too easily.
@Troutie - :-) I may try that. Does it matter which order as well, or can I start with wine in the morning?
@lulu's missives - Maybe you don't get addicted so fast?
@tinman18 - I like the pointed omission of any reference to alcohol. I am intrigued now.
And you're wanting to stop........why?
ReplyDeleteI think you'd be hard pressed to find even a quack who would tell you to change your habbits.
Tea, wine, I applaud them.
Great armchair advice, yes? hahah. I'm sorta with the why-group. Why stop a good thing. Even an OK thing... but if you feel like you CAN'T stop, that is something else. And replacing one addiction with another doesn't solve anything... maybe the reason you need so much help waking up is not getting enough sleep? or needing to simmer down at night due to not feeling able in situations? maybe that would bear some investigation. Tea and wine may not be your issues... just a thought.
ReplyDeleteWhen I go through one of my 'no more wine' phases I have tonic water instead - not quite the same but it looks like there is gin in there so I can kid myself - no chance on me cutting out the tea or coffee though!! Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteI stopped taking in any kind of caffeine after I read "The Crazy Makers: How the Food Industry is Destroying our Brains and Harming our Children" by Carol Simontacchi.
ReplyDeleteI went through severe caff withdrawal (for god's sakes I was used to real Italian coffee!!) but after about one month I felt entirely better and like a new person. I actually had energy all day, especially in the morning after waking up.
If you read her book, she explains why caffeine actually makes you more tired and therefore dependent on it for waking up.
as for alcohol... I wait til the kids are in bed before I have my glass with dinner. There is a healthy relationship with alcohol in Italy but part of me is paranoid my kids will be like "why is she running for the bottle as soon as she comes home?" so I don't. and I don't feel much need to. Better while relaxing with my man watching hokey t.v. shows.
I feared I was becoming an alcoholic because I'm always so desperate for a glass of wine around 5pm on a friday. I need the weekend to start!
ReplyDeleteGod forbid there's a playdate or baseball practice that gets in the way of my Friday afternoon Happy Hour.
I cut out both caffeine and booze when I went on Topamax in September and shockingly I'm still standing. So you can do it. I swear!
ReplyDelete