Saturday, 6 June 2009
Sisters
That there is a picture of my sister and I. I am on the left, my sister is sitting on my lap. I ADORE this picture. It is one of the few where we both look happy, and - even better - happy to be together.
Tonight she came to my house for tortillas. We had a wonderful, cava-fuelled time. She's recently been crocheting around pictures she loves (as seen in the picture above). We were talking about the time that picture was taken. Both of us had to dig around in our brains to find a time when we actually got on. In the end, we decided that we did present a unified front to the outer world, it's just that in private, we made each other's lives hell. I used to think what she did was much worse: she used to kick me and mess with my mind. Now, I realise what I did was at least as bad. I used to just ignore her and treat her like a lower life form. (And kick her, too.) For a little sister, that kind of treatment cannot be good.
When we were around eighteen years old (she's only sixteen months younger), we went on a family holiday to France. There, somehow, we started to fight first, and then to talk, and all the old hurts came out. I still love the memory of that holiday, even though I've never had a holiday that involved so much crying and so many upsets. Since then, she has become simply the best friend I could have in the world, and there is nothing I don't share with her. It's such a waste that we couldn't be each other's allies growing up. Especially in the tougher times we could have helped each other through.
When we visit our parents, we still sometimes fall into our old patterns - get annoyed with each other, stop trusting each other to be kind. I do the same when I go there on my own: I revert to my eight year old self and get hurt by small comments, feel unable to stand up for myself, get too vulnerable. I suppose as long as I can't fix that for myself (and she for herself), we will keep having the same problem. Until then, maybe we should see each other all the time on our own, and be more careful with each other when we go to see the folks.
Don't you just love that photo?
Posts
9 comments:
I do love that photo and the wonderful narrative to go with it!
That photo is spectacular. You're so lucky to have it.
My sisters and I have that problem too, of falling into old patterns. It's getting better, the older we get, but it's definitely still there.
I love the photo! I don't have a sister, but I seem to revert to a nervous, childish mess when I visit home, too. As if my teenager self takes over when I'm there. Very annoying.
What a great post! My sister and I are 11 years apart so we were never close growing up. We essentially grew up as only children. Now that she's 19 and growing up herself, it's great!
What a fantastic commentary on your relationship with your own sister. I love it!
My sister is on the short list of most important people in my life. She often tells me I am the only person who "gets" her, and we find each other indispensible in wondering about the madness of our mother. This is why I wanted eldest Gingerling to have a sister of her own.
I love this post and can relate so much! My sister and I didn't get along for most of my childhood. The last few years though, I just don't know what I would do without her. We talk nearly everyday, and I can now tell her things that about 5 years ago, she would have been the last person in the world that I would tell.
I love that picture. Even though you may not have gotten along back then as you do now, you were still sisters... and that picture captures it wonderfully.
Have a wonderful time this weekend!
What beautiful girls! This was just lovely. Sisters are precious, aren't they? I feel like I can be myself more around my siblings than anyone else. I'm so glad you two have eachother's backs now. That is sweetness.
I love you little sister.
that picture is amazing. It has captured something priceless and it's beautiful you two have that again now.
I secretly hope my two kids will end up being friends (in adult life). I think as teens its mandatory to hate everybody :)
right now as toddlers they get along pretty well though I can see my little daughter is beginning to like teasing her Goliath...
Post a Comment
Leave a comment, make my day!