- Life can be so simple sometimes. Jack has been sleeping very badly for weeks. He's been touchy and sad during the day because he's exhausted. We have tried sympathy, sternness, warm milk, going to bed later, going to bed earlier, extra blankets - just about everything. Turns out all he needed was a better nightlight. He hadn't told us he was scared in the semi-dark. (I can't understand why. It's not like I don't try to listen to him until my ears turn blue.)
- Life can be so complicated sometimes. I like my dresses, my boots, my figure-hugging tops. I would defend the right of any woman to wear what she likes, and to use her body any way she likes. And yet, and yet. At choir the other day a lovely beautiful girl turned up in a skirt which, because I'm 32 now, I have earned the right to describe as "a belt" and a turtleneck jumper on top which was so sheer it showed her freckles through it, all topped off with perfect make-up and hairdo. And while I love this girl and sometimes aspire to be more like her, she made me feel so bloody inadequate for about ten minutes (until I got over myself).
Tonight on TV I saw a girl on a quiz. Pouty mouth, giggly laugh, eyebrows plucked into oblivion. Painted hair, painted eyes, painted lips, painted everything. This girl I mainly don't understand. Why would you want to paint a face on top of your perfectly decent face, at 26 and in the age of perfection? I'm baffled to such an extent that I didn't get around to feeling inadequate. I understand make-up when things start going South. I'm considering getting some make-up myself in the next decade or so. Perhaps if the basics you've been given aren't all that appealing. Then - fine. This girl, though, I got a strong feeling she was selling herself short; implying that she needed all this hoopla to be a fully functioning woman. It makes me sad. Sad for her for feeling she needs this, and sad for the world for falling for it.
Thursday, 10 December 2009
The simple and the not so simple life
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ah..dont get me even startet on the make up subject...i do actually like girls who wear eyeshadow..or lipstick..but i hate it when they dye their hair until its dead..especially when its bleached into the condition of straw...but the worst thing is the actuall make up..that brown ugly stuff the smear all over the skin...dont like it...i m very happy to have three pretty sisters who dont use anythiung but mascara and lipgloss once in a while...
ReplyDeletebut other hand..now that i think about it..we men are always anoied by make up..we tell you women that you dont need all that painting ..and when you finally believe us and come without make up to work we look at you all worried and ask you if you are sick because you look so tired...so...vicious cirle!!
Ugh. I have a couple friends who cake on the make up and I've never understood why. Personally I think they are far far more attractive without it all. My sister has started slathering it on too. And she's only 19!!
ReplyDeleteI will put on a bit of mascara and lipgloss occasionally...like tonight when I go to Hotty Hubby's work party....but on the whole I go au naturel. Much better for the skin though.
As for your Jack, isn't it funny what they will or won't tell us? The things they hold back astound me. I'm like you..I listen til my ears bleed, but they still don't tell me weird stuff like that. Hope he's happier now he has a new nightlight!
Hate to say it but I think its an age thing. (Yes I'm insecure)Everywhere I look the women (girls) are younger than me. Now thats not a problem but sometimes I look and I think "Wow" I want to look like that. Shes slim, long sleek hair, great gear etc. It sneaks up on me and surprises me that I'm not more accepting of my middle aged, had 2 children, got a mortgage, have no time life.
ReplyDeleteFor work I wear a hint of foundation, mascara and lippy. To be honest I wouldn't have a clue how to apply anything else.
Glad you got Jacks problem sorted. No sleep is a nightmare for everyone concerned.
I think many women wear make-up as a mask and don't feel adequate to go out into the world without it. This makes me very sad. When I wear make-up, I feel as if I am putting on a costume and I do it for fun. Unlike putting on a bra, which I do because dammit, "they" say we must.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you. I think it's insane. The only reason we look tired and perhaps unwell (Danielle) sometimes with no make up is because we've ever worn it in the first place. If we all conspired together to throw the damn stuff out (and say use the money for more noble causes), we would look real and beautiful and fresh and lovely right out of bed. Why do men look perfectly fine/handsome/well with no gob on their faces? If men all started wearing blush and concealer and mascara, etc... then yeah, they would look naked without. It's a conspiracy I tell you.
ReplyDeleteAS a kid I thought make up was so cool - now I look at the kids I see at school and just think......yuk - (where is the joy in lip gloss???) but I think your other reader might be right - maybe it is just an age thing (I so hate to say that!!)
ReplyDeleteI am lucky in that I married a natural beauty advocate in my husband. Which is a very fancy way of saying that basically every time I put on more than even a tiny amount of make-up (which is rarely) he will ask what on earth I am doing - not in a posessive 'you're not allowed to wear make-up' way, but in a 'you silly beautiful girl take it off so I can see your face, you don't look like you with all that on' type way.
ReplyDeleteI love him. We need more of that as women.
But the feeling inadequate in front of beautiful, perfectly groomed women? I still get that every god damn day - and I'm 27 FFS! It annoys the hell out of me.
It is insane, but I am suckered in myself, wearing light foundation every day to hide the blotchiness that comes with an aging porcelain complexion, and light eyeliner to perk up my sinking eyes. But take heart Mwa, I don't put any effort at all into my clothing! However, I love fine perfume. I don't give a whit how it affects men, I like how it affects me.
ReplyDeleteyeah...I looka t photos of myself ten years ago and I was pretty clueless about fashion and the cut of clothes...ten years in France has helped....but I'm amazed because for years I was unhappy with my hair, body, face, generally everything but I look at those photos and think I was pretty cute really.
ReplyDeleteAnd in ten years Ill be 46 and will look back at the photos NOW and think the same thing...
Well, I like a bit of make up every now and then. Not war paint, of course. As long as it's used to highlight your features, go for it! Simple rules apply: heavy on the eyes, easy on the lips, and other way round.
ReplyDeleteThis actually counts for clothes as well: wearing a belt together with a see- through top or a plunging neckline is an absolute no-go. Now that should have made HER feel inadequate.
PS: On a different note - you appear so much wiser than I am, yet you are more than a whole year younger than I am. Life isn't fair!
I used to be that girl. I wouldn't go ANYWHERE without makeup. It made me feel better about myself.
ReplyDeleteI finally woke up and realized it was all a sham. Makeup didn't make me prettier, I did.
@Danielle - Well, don't ask if they're sick then!
ReplyDelete@Mad Woman - I'm not against a bit of make up sometimes, you know. Just the idea of needing it all the time.
@Countess - It is surprising. It sometimes grabs me as well, and I can't say how this is going to play itself out. Who knows, maybe in a few years time I'll do the same.
@Ms. Moon - A costume, I do get that. I used to go out to parties in goth make-up. That was a lot of fun, but definitely not about thinking I wasn't good enough without. The bra thing is ridiculous. I feel the same. When I quickly want to go somewhere without one, I feel stared at.
@Bethany - It is a conspiracy, but I'm not playing. I do not own any make up and I don't think that's about to change.
@ourprivateblog - It may well be.
@Josie - I have a husband like that too! I think he may like me with a bit of eye make up sometimes though. Ah well.
@GingerB - Perfume is an interesting one. I used to wear it every day, and then at some point I went off it. Now I wear it maybe once a year. Maybe I just don't have the right one.
@screamish - Oh, absolutely. I think about that all the time, and it really helps me. Looking at myself through my older eyes is making me appreciate myself in the moment more.
@Metropolitan Mum - You're lovely. Maybe you should give me a lesson in highlighting my good bits. Can you come over on Monday?
@Erin - I'm so happy you discovered that!
Am so with you on hating that girl in your choir and worrying about that making you feel inappropriate. There's a girl at work I totally obsess about because her skirts are so short. At at (gulp) 34, I have really begun to think I really need to start worrying about what I wear (although I'm strictly a no skirt belt person, don't worry)!
ReplyDeleteSimple, complicated, life is life.
ReplyDeleteCan't think of anything profound to write. But we should all enjoy our faces and bodies when we are in our teens and 20s, because they are so lovely then, just by dint of being young.