OCD in hospital

I spent all of today in and around a hospital because my mother was having brain surgery. No, really. She seems as well as she could possibly be after all that so let's hope she makes the full recovery we're all expecting. I won't say much more about this, it not being my surgery and all. An, bless her cotton socks and her polyester ones if she owns any which I doubt, was with me all day, and may I just say I am more blessed than her socks, cotton or otherwise, to have that woman as my sister and my friend.

One of the things that kept my mind focused today, was what I was going to blog about. And, as callous as that may seem, I chose my OCD thoughts which cannot be stopped even when I am only in the vicinity of a hospital. I've been thinking about the OCD all week and it's not that I'm scared of germs generally. When I work in the garden, I'm happy to get dirty. I let the children play in playgrounds where I'm sure cats and dogs pee regularly and they get as dirty as they like. I don't have a huge problem wiping noses or bottoms. My fear is of chemicals, invisible beams (WiFi, phones etc.), animal cooties, gone-off food and contagion. And oh my word my fear of contagion is nearly tangible in a hospital. So I was thinking of what they could do to make the likelihood (perceived likelihood, really - I know) of contagion less for me. I've started a list, but I'm sure it would be much longer if I gave it another week.

• Antiseptic wipes should be provided as well as hand alcohol. This way I could preventively disinfect door handles, chairs and elevator buttons.
• Chairs should never be fabric ones. (Seriously, who thought of that. Sick people sit on them. Some of them must seep stuff.)
• The chairs should ideally be made of some kind of mesh material, minimising contact between my butt and their surface. I take less of the hospital with me when I leave that way.
• Small elevators should be restricted to groups who belong together. People should be strongly discouraged from boarding any lift that already has a group in it. For those that do decide to join, it's only polite to hold your breath until you reach your destination. Large lifts can probably accommodate two separate groups, as long as they stay at opposite sides.
• Hospital elevators should never ever ever have those buttons that are only activated if you touch them with warm skin. All buttons should be operable with elbows covered in sleeves, or at least with one's knuckles.
• Anyone with a cough should stay in their room. Visitors with coughs should wear special masks. It would be nice if they could also carry rattles in order to make it easier to avoid them.
• Hospital toilets should have completely level toilet seats. Seats with a slight slope to them make it very difficult to make the bits of toilet paper you want to sit on stay in place. This only adds to the stress of the visit. Obviously taps, soap dispensers, flushes, doors and door locks should be automatic.
• Ideally, also, sick people should stay away.

On the way home tonight, I was exhausted in every possible way and I was so pathetically grateful for a song that came on the radio. It's by Michael Bublé and it goes

So hold on to me tight
Hold on, I promise it'll be alright
Cause we are stronger here together
Then we could ever be alone
Just hold on to me
Don't you ever let me go
Hold on to me, it's gonna be alright
Hold on to me tonight

Sometimes that's all a girl needs - someone to tell her everything will be alright. It made me realise - I've been feeling so lonely by myself all week and I was quite sad about that, but really I am the luckiest person in the world to have two rocks I can build houses on. Babes took two whole days off work so I could be at the hospital without ever worrying about the children. He makes cups of tea for me, goes to the shops and keeps the world ticking over while I need a break from it. He's the one who will let me hold on to him and who will tell me everything will be alright. And then there's An, who is also always there if I need her and who will make me laugh and think and be okay on an otherwise shitty day like this. I'm the luckiest girl alive. And now I must go to bed before I make you all barf with my new-found soppiness.