So I had one of THOSE days. No, actually, yesterday was one of THOSE days. Today was just one of those days.
Yesterday, I was all tears and ETERNAL DESPAIR and more tears and then lots of pretense because I had a concert to sing and a concert of Jack's to applaud.
Then today - milder despair but despair nonetheless and I always think it's NEVER GOING TO END. Ever. Luckily the children had school and creche so I could pull out the phones and just hide under my blanket.
This evening I finally decided to see what you'd all been up to and I switched on the computer. And now the despair is sadness. And I know there's an end to it. And I know just to wait until it ends. Because this just happens sometimes. My confidence gets knocked, and all the self-esteem I've been building up just vanishes. It takes a while to find it again. I visited all my usual blogs (I didn't comment much - give me a few days) and it's like I've visited a whole lot of dear friends. Because I have.
And now I need some sleep. Tomorrow I will climb out of this hole a little more. And I will remember: my eternal despair never lasts as long as forever.
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Are you reading my fucking MIND today? I am metaphorically under the covers with you today, and yes, tomorrow? Will be better. Or at least different, right?
ReplyDeleteOh Mwa, I'm so sorry. You're always so supportive of me when I'm down.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, tomorrow will be better. Go down to your supermarket. have a look at the people doing the construction work, and think "now those people REALLY need help".
Take care of yourself, you're brill.
Tin
x
Oh god how I sympathise! If it's any consolation I've been like that for about a month and even the dogs are fed up with me. Sometimes life just sucks but I guess we need to just go along with it until the tide turns...hope it does for you soon x
ReplyDeleteHugs Mwa. x
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and wishing that it gets better quick!
ReplyDeleteYou know- I go through the same thing. When I am in THAT DARK HOLE OF DARKNESS, I can never convince myself that it will end. But it does.
ReplyDeleteYours will too.
Sending love, dear.
Hugs and love xxxx
ReplyDeleteYou're a wise woman. Shrug it off, build it back up again, we like to see you fighting fit.
ReplyDeleteLove to you, sweetie.
Jo xx
I am so sorry you are in the almost eternal abyss. I get it. Totally. And really wish I could be there to help. Whenever I hit rock bottom it is a small commiseration to acknowledge that it won't be for ever. That it feels all consuming...but won't ultimately consume me. I hope the despair lifts really quickly - and know that I am thinking of you under the covers and wish I could be there to make you a nice cuppa tea. xx
ReplyDeleteHugs friend! The despair won't last, I'm sure. Tomorrow you'll feel much better. x
ReplyDeleteOh my friend, big hugs for you! I am sure that tomorrow will look brighter. xxx
ReplyDelete@Kori - I love that idea - of us under the covers together. I hope your day is better, too.
ReplyDelete@tinman18 - Thank you, tinman. It is better today. And you're lovely.
@muummmmeeeeee - A month? That's too long! I hope you can find some mojo somewhere, too.
@Countess, @Angie Muresan - Thank you!
@Ms. Moon - I know you understand this. Isn't it strange how it still feels eternal, even though we've come through it countless times before? It's witchcraft.
@Pueblo girl - xxxx
@Jo - Big kiss
@Nicola - Oh! Tea! That does make everything better.
@Lady Mama - And I do. x
@Mad Woman - And it does. x
Just coming out of that space myself. Must be a spring thing. Or a girl thing. But it's temporary. Even when it feels like forever.
ReplyDeletexoxoxo
so sorry to see you down there... actually I must be at the same dark level as you since I see you so closely!! let's take the next elevator out of this hellhole, woman!!
ReplyDeletesending you love. It must be the Icelandic ash cloud shitting on our emotional parade....
Oh, poor you. And you can't even have a large glass of red or two... I think we have all been there, and of course it will get better.
ReplyDeletexx MM
We all have those days once in awhile. where we yell at people that don't really deserve it, or burst into tears because of a song, or whatever. It too shall pass!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you were having one of those days, but glad that you are feeling better now. We all have those days. It's always good to own up and just climb under the covers for a while. I'm sending big hugs and a soft blanket your way via virtual cyberspace. XOXOX
ReplyDeletesuch a good reminder.
ReplyDeletei hope you're feeling better.
isn't it weird how you move from that kind of abyss to just sadness and then eventually that lifts? but how we so quickly forget that it shifts, changes, etc...?
it's all so confusing sometimes.
i like the way you wrote about it.
helped me.
hang in there buddy.
Oh my love I'm so sorry you're feeling down :( And yes, I know THOSE days because that seems to have been where I have been stuck for far too long.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you were feeling a little better. I hope that by now you are feeling even more better.
And hello. And hugs. And you are wonderful x