I tried the "We should be friends" line again today. I got laughed at. C'est la vie. As a result, I've decided to lower my standards. Questionable personal hygiene, bad taste in shoes and cruelty to children are no longer considered major flaws.
Neonazis and fans of Celine Dion still need not apply.
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Can you believe I've been agonising over that last line for about half an hour now, scared to alienate Celine Dion fans? I need some perspective, a life and some sleep. Not necessarily in that order.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean, you got "laughed at"? no, not literally? dear god no. really?
ReplyDeleteon the bright side I think I may qualify as your friend. Except the cruelty to children thing, altho I DO play my dodgy Michelle Shocked covers at them on my new guitar, and sometimes even sing along.
I HATE Celine Dion; I also hate Mariah Carey and Kelly Clarkson and yes, John Mayer. Can we be friends now? I may have stinky feet but my teeth are good, at least the ones you can see. And I bathe, REALLY! :)
ReplyDeleteMove to Ireland, woman, I'll be friends wit ya!
ReplyDeleteTo a more functioning extent than I am now, obviously.
No need to lower your standards. Let her see what she's missing! Anyway, if she did laugh then she's just plain horrible.
ReplyDeleteif you don't want to scare them off "we should have coffee some day" sounds a lot less full-frontal. or you could just sniff out americans who aren't scared off by your truthful, direct approach: "we should hang out more" is a nice alternative (so you can vary your repetoire :)
ReplyDeleteSeriously?! Well there goes my plan of action. Sure you don't want to move to Scotland? We can be new together and not need anyone else!
ReplyDeleteYou got laughed at? Either you're exaggerating or this is someone you seriously misjudged, and is actually a fiend best avoided.
ReplyDeleteLook at the offers of friendship you've got - Ireland, Scotland, France, Rome, Spain...what's Belgium got that's so hot?
And in OREGON USA too!!
ReplyDeleteOh I've been there. ' you gotta brush that / dirt off your shoulder '
ReplyDeleteYou can live in Utah where only the Mormons will shun you, but I'll be here, breaking Celine Dion CDs with you. (Shhh, my husband kind of likes Celine Dion but he doesn't own any of her music, he just keeps the TV on her for a minute if he comes across her channel surfing. I try to forgive him since he gave me cute kids.)
ReplyDeleteCome to New Zealand, I could do with some new friends :)
ReplyDeleteI can't believe she had the audacity to laugh at you. She's probably a Celine Dion fan.
We need you in the Netherregions, Mwa! I try to be friendly but the Cloggies are so suspicious of someone who tries to be friendly AND is foreign it seems.
ReplyDeleteIt's ok not to have friends. If I had friends, I had no time to be here. xx D
ReplyDeleteIf she laughed at you, then you don't need her as a friend. She would just cramp your style. And she probably listens to Celine Dion's cover of All By Myself and reads Stieg Larsson's novels!
ReplyDelete@screamish - I haven't made the cruelty to children a prerequisite, so I think we're okay.
ReplyDelete@Kori - Of course we can be friends, as long as you keep your shoes on.
@Jo - I know! And I love Ireland, too.
@fiona - She's lovely actually, I just think I scared her off with my forwardness. But nevermind. She may come back later.
@Geeks in Rome - Not many Americans in this backwater. The one we had moved away. But you're right - I need to work on my repertoire.
@planb - I moved to Scotland once. It was good! But husband probably won't let me, as I have a thing for Scottish men. He enjoys being the only one here.
@Pueblo girl - It's got me! Actually, I'm feeling very humbled by all the offers on here - I don't need her any more.
@Laura Lee - And thank you, too!!
@Maggie May - I do. I will. And I won't give up.
@GingerB - Husbands can be weird that way.
@Mad Woman - I love how I'm a hit with people all over the world, just not in this very shithole.
@Fatbrideslim - Are they being trouble as well? You live in a small town as well, don't you? I think they may be the same the world over. People who never leave the place they were born in can't see the point of new friends sometimes.
@Metropolitan Mum - You're right. And I don't know how people did this before the internet.
@Aden Meyler - I was still considering reading those. You're saying no? Thanks - I hate being disappointed in books. Saved me the money.
I'd be your friend. I tried to join a book club the other week, okay? And it was a BAD, BAD book they were reading. And I was all "just let me know when the meeting is!!" And no one did...
ReplyDeleteClearly no one likes me.
Then the loss is hers. Next time you see her make sure she knows it.
ReplyDeleteI hate Celine Dion!
ReplyDeleteHEY- Fuck 'em if they don't love us. Obviously they have no idea (a) who we are, and (b) what they are missing.
ReplyDeleteYour true lady-love will come along. I promise.
That is too funny that you agonized over the Celine comment. I think it is perfectly understandable. Everyone has to draw the line somewhere:)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you made the Celine Dion comment. We should be friends ;)
ReplyDeleteCeline Dion sucks.
ReplyDeleteWhatever has happened to your other friends? Or are they all invisible like mine?
I'll be your friend - please
ReplyDelete