In the changing rooms, Marie was alternating between singing at the top of her voice and screaming to be let out of the pram. Jack sat on the floor and commented on all the bits of my body that didn't look right to him - while I was trying on pregnancy swimsuits, the devil's favourite garment.
- "Mama, let me count all those birth marks on your back. One, two, three - NO! Don't put your clothes back on!"
- "Ewww! Your armpits! The hair is so long!" (Deforestation needed, apparently.)
- The rest I've blocked from my memory. (Really, it was getting too embarrassing. All the other changing rooms got very quiet. Luckily I managed to shut him up - eventually.)
Afterwards, we went for therapeutic pancakes with ice cream and chocolate sauce, but as a drink I had only water. That should sort those thighs by tomorrow.
*** I want to clarify - I'm really enjoying the holidays. The cringeworthy snapshots just make for better blog fodder. ***
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Last time I went shopping with my two year old, he threw on the floor tantrums after the first 2 clothes shows, and flung the changing room door wide open as I was stood there in my knickers and vest.
ReplyDeleteAh yes. The joys.
At least you got your stuff though. I tend to come home with nothing!
Have fun :)
ah yes, swimsuits, the preferred garment of the devil, indeed.
ReplyDeleteactually when I was preggers i was well aware that it was one of the only times in my life when i could out myself in a bikini and not care. it's the ultimate get out of fat jail card free.
a shame its been 18 months since i gave birth and Im staring down the barrel of this summer. I'm sure Angelina Jolie doenst have the same post twin body issues that i have.
anyway. enjoy your holiday! nice weather forecast down here for the next week! hope you have the samexxx
Lol! Have just posted about LLC acting out in public and she's far from speaking but screaming she can do! I'm learning that kids don't seem to have any inhibitions about what they say or do so the road ahead looks long and "colorful".... you just go rock your new swimsuit and blooming pregnant bod!!
ReplyDeleteI struggled bravely on, being the only woman in Spain who didn't wax her armpits for years. One summer day, in a bar, a little girl looked at me, pointed at my armpit, and said "WHAT'S THAT?". I gave up.
ReplyDeleteMaybe i will feel better about myself if I buy a pregnancy swimsuit and pretend I am, you think?
ReplyDeleteI think the devil's favourite garment is, actually, a zip-up breast-feeding bra. All that potential for nipple injury.
ReplyDeleteAhh I am enjoying the pointing and laughing at my lady bits (not). Every shower is accompanied by a riotous HAHAHA from Kai as he tries to prod various parts of my anatomy. Maybe I should be glad he can't talk - I just know he's thinking some HORRIBLE and insulting things.
ReplyDeleteand a sneaky kiss for you MWAH! xxx - I NEED A BUMP PIC!! (swimsuit optional...)
Ahaha the last time I took the spawnlets with me when I went shopping, Boy Spawn spent the whole time asking "Will these go up around your bum mummy?" and Girl Spawn announced loudly in the changing rooms that "your tummy has lots of rolls!". Hope you got something cute...even from the devil's store.
ReplyDeleteYou really crack me up, Mwa. I try to avoid bathing suits, if at all possible. If I can't bear to look at my body in the changing room, why must I force a stranger to?
ReplyDeletePay no mind to me. Have fun! Rock that bathing suit!
Hilarious. And a helpful reminder for those of us who might be feeling just a little bit broody (and who are old enough to know better)
ReplyDeleteOh, good luck with Satan's little swimming suit. I bet the therapeutic pancakes were highly effective. I often seek therpeutic potatoes of some type, preferably with cheese. My thighs are proof.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Screamish- when pregnant, I always wore a bikini and felt like a goddess. Now as to how I actually looked?
ReplyDeleteWho cares?
That is fabulous- I had to take my daughter into a public bathroom the other day and someone in there- well let's just say it smelled and my daughter would not stop saying "peyeeh" and holding her nose- so glad my husband taught her that.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Kori. Too funny. I hate swimsuits. Period. End of story.
ReplyDeleteYou went pregnant-shopping with your children? You deserve a medal! There is no way I'd go shopping with my only child (again).
ReplyDelete