I'm obsessed with poo. I always have been, but potty training is tipping me over the edge. I used to only have to worry about my own. Now I spend half the day pondering when to put Marie on her potty so I won't have to clean out another pair of pants. She's doing great with the pee, and I'm sure the other is just a matter of time so I should just relax and deal with it - but we have new sofas, you know. And she likes to sit on the carpet. And I do not like cleaning up poo.
Half of the days I get the timing right, and get her on the potty in front of Mr Tumble at roughly the right time. The other half she goes to stand in a corner somewhere, turns scarlet and then comes to tell me "Mama I did a poo." Which in turn makes me turn scarlet with the sheer effort of appearing not to care at all. "That's okay, sweetie. Maybe next time it will be in the potty. Accidents happen." Do they fuck! I don't poo in my pants every other day.
* My rant is helping. She's turning scarlet on her potty right this second and just went "Kaka!" in a cute breathless, pushing-it-out-right-now way. Hurray for us! *
I have been thinking - it must be very difficult. She's used to pooping standing up, and now she has to do it sitting down. Imagine you had to change to pooping lying down or standing up. I'm sure it would take a while before you managed. I am not going to experiment with this. My interest in the world of poo only goes that far. Anyone fancy pooping standing up and reporting back?
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The heat is doing strange things to my brain. This train of thought is amusing me profoundly today. God help us when this baby arrives and I have four people's poo at my fingertips (as it were) to obsess over and report about.
(Babes' is off limits. Somehow even I know this would spoil what little mystery we have left after sixteen years and two births together.)
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I was just thinking today how Mr. Moon and I have been married for one million years and yet, to this day, our bathroom habits as applied to pooping are so private that we have no actual proof that the other actually does poop.
ReplyDeleteI knew before I clicked on that this would be about poo!
ReplyDeleteI think once they have done the deed sitting down and realise that it's not too scary you've pretty much cracked it.
@Ms. Moon - I would like separate bathrooms as well. I have olfactory proof sometimes, as I'm sure does he.
ReplyDelete@Very Bored in Catalunya - Cracked it. Tee-hee!
Funny, my son has v little problem with poos, but tends to resent being made to go pee but then wets himself. Still, it's improving fast, so it's all good.
ReplyDeleteAnd have you tried good old fashioned bribery? Worked a treat for Orla once I realised that she wasn't motivated by chocolate buttons, but would do anything for a magic wand. In the potty gets the magic wand, in the knickers I took it away and put it on a high shelf. (and yes, I did feel like a cruel mummy)
ReplyDelete@Jo - Jack had that same problem for a bit, but in winter. Fewer puddles around the house, more wet trousers.
ReplyDelete@fiona - I do do bribery, in the form of stickers. Not sure I'm willing to take anything away if she doesn't - I'm not sure she's doing it on purpose, really.
Cracked it? We still get one poo in the pants per week. Usually AFTER me getting up the stairs to the toilet due to poo alarm 3 times, which weren't so bad if it wasn't for the stupid SPD and what stairs do to you when you have it.
ReplyDeleteShe: crying her eyes and snot out on top of the poo, Me: "don't make it worse than it is, you really don't need to cry your heart out about it, just let me clean it and we're done".
poo at your fingertips? That was scarily accurate today unfortunately. Yuck.
Just to get a response (some would call it attention seeking) I have been known to txt MM to describe the size of my poo. He doesn't often take the bait.....he can be no fun sometimes :-)
ReplyDeleteLiving with 3 men, I praise the day we bought this house with 2 toilets.
I was reading a novel just the other day where one of the central characters moves into a new home with a bathroom. He'd always pooped in the fields before. He finds it strange and unhygienic to be pooping in the middle of his home, and takes a while to adjust. Gave me a new perspective on bathrooms.
ReplyDeletePoo talk - hooray! Three cheers for Mwa! If I had my way, no one would know I pooped, but alas, in this house, there is no privacy. On my first trip with Lord Honey, when we were at a fancy condo in Mazatlan, he walked into the bathroom, causing poopus interruptus, and I yelled "GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!!!" and, I think, rather terrified him. But since living together, standards have slipped. He did remove some of my post c-section staples and saw my uterus placed on my big fat belly while a baby ws cut out, who am I to complain now about a stink and a streaker? The children don't think I should poop alone, and even Hannah, who is only recently reliably mobile, feels she needs to come in and hand me the box of Cottonelle (flushable wipes, the 8th wonder of the world) to finish up the job. I hate it but I can't yell at a baby so I tolerate it. But I miss pooping by myself.
ReplyDeleteAs to standing versus sitting, I have visited countries with the footpads and hole in the floor model, and find squatting without support quite awkward and tension producing. I've never thought of this before but I think you raise an excellent point, and one that likely does explain why the training takes time. When I am backcountry camping and hanging over a log, again the difficulty factor goes way up. I think we should make your theory Poo Postulation Number 2, in the book of poo. This would follow my friend's theory that world peace would be more likely if eeryone had one good BM per day.
We are almost at the end of nappies. Just the night-time to finish off and the morning nappies are drier and drier. It's amazing how all thoughts of other people's poo fade when this happens. It will all be a distant memory soon - and I CAN'T wait.
ReplyDeleteI get daily proof of my hubby's as that is when he likes telling me stories that I absolutely HAVE TO hear.
ReplyDeletePunishment for mis-pooing is generally considered to be an excessively bad idea.
ReplyDeleteFreud was right about lots of stuff.
I am going through the same thing with Finn right now, well a little earlier in the process. I bought him underwear which he proudly wore for about 3 hours last night with no accidents. I don't know if I'm doing this right or not, I'm just stumbling around in the dark and hoping I walk through the right door.
ReplyDeleteI posted about potty training yesterday as well!
ReplyDeleteThank God for Mr Tumble. I, also am fed up of poo. I am pleased to say it is a good few months since we have had it in kncikers but now we get analysis of what is in the potty, 'ohh Mummy a curly one, like a snail!'. Yes, thanks babes. Mich x
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, that is so funny, right down to the finger nails I am sure we have all experienced that one, and good one "cracked it" Now I must be off, I gotta go.....
ReplyDeleteSandi
Yes He was right about lots of stuff. Amen.
ReplyDeletestanding poo... she would make a very good wood nymph/child raised by wolves.
ReplyDeleteI have always had an "open door" policy with the bathroom.
I think it has to do with growing up in a home in which THREE bedroom doors opened up to the one and only bathroom for five people. I also grew up seeing men, kids, everybody peeing and pooping in the woods, fields, sinks, garbage cans... excretion is like breathing where I'm from I guess.
Anyway, I like to think letting my kids see me pee and poo (on a toilet) helped inspire them to copy me. I am quite vocal about "Oh I'll be back. I have to go poop/pee." as a subversive reminder for them to analyze their own bladder/bowel situation.
The b.room door doesn't shut well (our guests hate that) and so bathroom visitations are frequent. I remember coaching my daughter who had pooing issues (fear and pain during pushing) by giving a blow-by-blow description of what I was doing.
Hubby OTOH can NOT do a BM with the door open. He is the only family member who turns green when he sees me on the can in my full glory. silly boy.
oh, you always make me laugh laugh laugh.
ReplyDeleteThis is the best post EVER! We are going through this with Finn right now and I thought we did something horribly wrong. Glad you survived...maybe we will too. It's weird for them, sitting after standing right?
ReplyDelete