- Reading The Reluctant Fundamentalist on the tram into town, I wonder if holding that book is making me more or less likely to get blown up by a suicide bomber. I put the book down on my lap so no one can see the title.
- Getting dressed this morning, I wonder if putting on two necklaces and a short dress with no leggings will bring on labour. I try it. If it doesn't work, at least I've tried everything.
- When talking to other mothers, I wonder how quickly I am allowed to stop them telling me their childbirth horror stories and all their friends'. I only dare after two on average.
Sunday, 8 August 2010
Has anyone seen my brain cell?
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Brain cell? have I seen yours??? no sorry, have you seen mine?? Its amazing how they disappear.
ReplyDeleteOh my the horror stories, I am very petite and was told constantly that I would have to have the big C by my loving friends. Well I had natural births for all my kids and the largest was 8lb 9oz and didn't have a problem it was all pretty easy for me with not much pain to complain about. Now going to the dentist is a whole other story.......(shiver)
xxSandi
Darling- all of your brains are in your uterus. Don't fight it. Go with whatever it tells you. It is wise in a way your brain is not.
ReplyDeleteI can picture the thought crossing your mind and you looking up ever so slightly, eyes only. Scanning, scanning... then book down, then look down.
ReplyDeleteToday, I thought of you and your little brain sucker there. A woman great with child walked up to the face painting table and as she turned to guide her preschooler into my chair, her baby belly swiped off my mirror, q-tips and a tub of glitter. She wasn't nearly as impressed as I was. I could tell by the look in her eye.
brain cells? What are those? Who needs them?
ReplyDeleteHaha, I do that with werewolves. I have to lecture myself sternly about it.
ReplyDeleteAs to the horror stories - well, first off, you don't wait for the one, you interrupt calmly and kindly, and say, 'sorry, I made a decision not to listen to anyone's horror stories while I'm pregnant, I want to stay unafraid and positive'.
There's a Bush Flower Essence made just for this, for people who feel like they need some psychic protection from everyone's need to tell them stories of pain and gore. I had a doozy myself, alright, from a Hari Krishna woman at a party - why??? Why do people do it? Tell the obstetricians you meet, not the pregnant ladies!!
Did the dress work ?
ReplyDeleteTake my hat off to you for even picking up a book, I was beyond even remembering what they were for by the end. All I read was Hagen Daz labels to check for comparative yummyness. Before buying all three options because even that intellectual pursuit was too much for my one remaining brain cell.
I found bursting into tears when somebody tried to tell birth horror stories pulled most up short and cause massive backtracking to commence. Pretty sure it cured some of them of the habit full stop.
Brain cells are completely overrated. Just you concentrate on the dresses and the necklaces. x
ReplyDeleteI think you can stop other moms before they start. That is so annoying!
ReplyDeleteI like the suggestion to burst out crying when they start on their rant.
ReplyDeleteOr flash them the cover of your terrorist-in-training book and cackle while you fondle your anthrax-crystal necklace.
When you are overdue you can do whatever you like. And fix anyone looking disapproving with a look that says 'I dare you to contradict me'. Hope you are feeling a bit more comfortable and when you find where the brain cells go when pregnant could you let me know? x
ReplyDeleteIsn't every birth story a horror story?
ReplyDeleteI'm jealous of two things here.
1) You are able to leave the house
2) A dress? Earrings? You actually bother to get dressed thees days?
I admire you. I've lost the will to live already and I'm no where near my due date. Sad face.