My dearest clogged milk duct,
you make my nipple look funky.
Your enforced sleepless nights
have my writing go clunky.
You turn feeds which were lovely
really quite sore
complaining about you
makes me a bore.
You mess with the booby
I let my baby suck of.
My dearest clogged milk duct,
now kindly fuck off.
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Um, you need to talk to me about these things not write poetry!
ReplyDeleteYeouch. You really do need more than a chocolate biscuit for that! Is it clogged cause your baby is sleeping so well and not having to feed all night??!! :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you get it sorted out - still have a blocked one that never unclogged when I was feeding No1
ReplyDeleteOh no! Are you doing warm compresses and all of that? Have you been to see the doctor? You may need antibiotics.
ReplyDeleteI know it is so painful.
Hope you're poor little nipple is better soon.
OH me, OH my! Never any fun. Seek assistance and carry on with your poetry too!
ReplyDelete"Memories, oh such painful memories" sung to the tune of a song out of 'Cats' Cabbage leaves in your bra may help.
ReplyDeletex Sandi
lmao! i soooooooo know what u mean...i am taping this to my left nipple, which craps out every other week!
ReplyDeleteMy hypnobirthing instructor (totally useless because I had to have emergecy c-sections and never did get to "breathe the baby down") came to see me when my three pounder was in the nursery, (she wondered where I had disappeared to) and tried to cheer me on as a then exclusive pumper by telling me moms will do whatever is necessary to keep breastfeeding if they really want to - she once laid down over a toddler and stuck her breast in his mouth to force him to suck out the plug with the assistance of gravity . . . I really couldn't make this up. You could ask Babes or Marie to help you, try pumping it out with the highest setting on a pump, or maybe stick to cabbage leaves. When I saw your post title on my google reader I had to sit right down and comment out of sympathy. Fuckity fuck fuck. Bad poetry is fine by me, given the circumstances.
ReplyDeleteI really just have nothing to add after GingerB's comment.
ReplyDeleteBoooo. Hope it gets better soon, I know it can be very painful.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. I am looking forward to more poetry. I do hope it's a new years resolution.
ReplyDeleteYes clogged milk duct. Fuck off.
ReplyDeleteWell said you. May it bloody well listen. x
That brings back awful memories. Antibiotics may be the way to go.
ReplyDeleteMwa thanks for a year of entertaining and informative posts. Wishing you and the family a happy new year. x
@Jo - Done. And thanks for the advice!
ReplyDelete@Rhi - I wish! :-)
@Muddling Along Mummy - Ouch. It seems to be getting much better just now.
@Ms. Moon - Luckily it was only blocked, not making me sick. I had mastitis once when travelling, and that was just awful.
@All This Trouble - Thank you! I do love to write silly poems. Surprisingly, they all have swearwords. Every single one.
@sandiart - That always amuses me. Cabbage in my bra. I was told at the hospital to put hot water in a nappy and to put that on my chest.
@Darcy - It's my left one as well, and the second time in a month! I hope it's not going to make this a habit.
@GingerB - Bad poetry? What bad poetry? ;-)
I'm not sure I want to give Marie the trauma or Babes the satisfaction. Good story, though!
@Steph - It is pretty much the definitive comment indeed.
@Lady Mama - Thank you!
@fiona - Why thank you. I think I might. Maybe I will do a series of dirty limericks (my old favourite).
@PantsWithNames - You too?
@Countess - Well thank you very much. And a very happy new year to you and yours.
Hate that. Mother Nature should darn well have designed bigger better milk ducts. You'd think she'd have learnt after all the trouble with her design for sinus passages.
ReplyDeleteYou know about getting the baby's chin pointing in the direction of the offending duct? Yes? And massaging in the direction of the flow?
I once had a plugged duct... Which the GP told me to have a go at with a sterilised needle... Too much information, I know.
Oh that was lovely, Mwa. More, please!
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping for lots of free flowing milk in 2011. xx
@Iota - Not too much information at all. On the internet I found one page with "advice" which suggested I pick at it with my nail. I prefer the sterilised needle somehow.
ReplyDelete@Metropolitan Mum - Thank you!
do they have curd/quark in belgium? it's meant to help if applied like a compress?
ReplyDelete