Girls girls girls

For a few weeks at university, I tried to be a lesbian. I thought I should find out if I had any inclination for it. You see, there was this gorgeous girl who would swoop into lectures in a floral summer dress, and - well - she wore that summer dress like no other girl could have done, and she always distracted me from my equations and theorems. By the second week of the experiment, I was sure it wasn't for me. There happened to also be a boy around at that time who would distract me at least as much. And while I never dared to talk to either girl or boy, I still fancied the logistics of the boy more than that of the girl. Breasts I'm sure I could cope with, but for recreation I choose penis over vagina any day. And that was that. (Of course I don't know what I'm talking about since I've never actually tried the latter.)

Today, though, I nearly forgot to pick up my children from school because I was so engrossed in The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister, something I'd taped to watch during breastfeeding. Two girls were getting really quite passionate when I realised I had five minutes to get Charlie into the buggy and both of us to the school gates. Running along the pavement with the buggy flying ahead of me, I saw my favourite parcel-delivery girl ring a doorbell down the road. She's rather butch (assumptions, assumptions - they really won't do) in a lovely way, and I feel a flutter whenever she brings me my online purchases. Today I got a wink which pleased me rather a lot.

All this is making me think today about the boundaries between friendship, love and infatuation. If I didn't have Babes could I meet "the right girl?" I have had some serious girl crushes in my time. At secondary school, I used to write 40 page letters to my best friend after I got home from school at night, to hand to her when I got into school the next morning. I never spent nearly that much time on the boy I was supposedly "in love" with (desperately, stupidly, from afar). Then again, if I had to have a threesome - you know, if I was forced :-) - I'd still prefer two men. (Call me, Benicio and Orlando or Ewan and Robert or McDreamy and McSteamy! (Apparently I'm not picky. (Or: how to make them all feel extra special.))) But I would watch Tina Fey on TV before any of the four men in brackets. Or any other girl crush of mine.

Isn't love/lust/life just delicious in all its manifestations and possibilities? I'm feeling giddy with it today, as if we all live in a giant kaleidoscope, or a hall of mirrors.