I think half the appeal is to hear that smut out of the mouth of someone who looks like a mother-in-law. It is such a catchy tune that I have found myself giggling randomly and at the most inopportune times over the last two months. One sleepless night, I started to make my own lyrics:
(Please do watch the video first, or only watch the video, because it is about a gazillion times better/funnier/prettier than the derivative attempt below. Also, you need to know the tune to appreciate the verses to the full.)
Blogging*
(To the tune of Aida's "Dogging:")
On Tuesday I was sitting here upstairs at my computer,
while in the living room the Polish help looked ever cuter,
and Babes who was off work because on Monday night he'd sneezed
was left unsupervised to do exactly as he pleased.
When I'm blogging, when I'm blogging,On Wednesday both the kids were home from school and I was stressed.
I don't care who Babes is pawing, even snogging.
If I am left alone, he can kiss or even bone
any floozy or old crone, when I'm blogging.
I put on the TV and told the kids don't be a pest.
I didn't see the older one give baby beer and cake,
the girl peed in the sofa but at least I got a break.
I was blogging, I was blogging,
so the children had been threatened with a flogging.
One got a hacking cough - do you think that I logged off?
No, I told her to fuck off, 'cause I was blogging.
*Parts of this song are fictional.
Posts
hahaha, fantastic! You should send them an audition tape!
ReplyDeleteLOVE the last lines.
That last bit is perfection.
ReplyDelete(And forgive me for needing clarification, but is dogging doing it in the car, or is it a position?)
@Jo - Thank you. I considered actually singing it and posting an MP3, but then decided wisely to spare you all that torment.
ReplyDelete@Steph - I have been told (by Jo) that it is having sex in the car where one might be discovered, looked at, or joined. Apparently it is a hobby for some people.
hmm, this isn't advertising me in the best light today, is it? :)
ReplyDeleteRoll up, roll up, questions answered, from breastfeeding to deviant sexuality! :D
That just about covers it, actually.
Hahaha your so funny I nearly spat coffee over the screen!! Your obviously sleep depraved!
ReplyDeleteBNM
@Jo - Sorry about that. Surely you just googled it?
ReplyDeleteI don't think the deviant sexuality is going down (!) well with the readers at all - there's near silence on the comment front. It's making me quite insecure, thinking maybe other people find the thought of old people having exhibitionistic sex less funny than me. Either that or they don't believe my rhymes were fictional. Maybe I should have made it clear that I do take care of my children, even when trying to blog. Surely not?
@BNM - Thank you! And sleep depraved - that's a funny yet accurate description of me right now. :-)
@Jo - Or that I don't tell them to fuck off. Surely they know that? Ah nevermind. I probably just need some sleep and perspective. :-)
ReplyDeleteI think it's safe enough :) COmments will come, don't worry.
ReplyDeleteFA are v respectable entertainers! The upper crust!
What a hoot, you are such a funny person, I love reading your blog. I sang your words along to the music heha, sooooo funny. I'm not that funny when I'm sleep deprived unfortunatly.d
ReplyDeleteI'm up for some more sleep deprived ditties when your ready.
x Sandi
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ReplyDeleteWell the video made me laugh until I cried and then I sang your words to the tune in my head and cried again, not just because it was witty but because you got inside my head!
ReplyDeleteI always knew we were kindred spirits - my two best friends and I make up many such ditties such as our Thanksgiving carols and odes to Spam, plus special songs for our St. Patrick's Day Parade entry (none of us are particularly Irish, but in the heart of Mormon living when a Parade involves getting up early on a Saturday, entering as a parody act and getting drunk first thing in the morning, you've just gotta be part of it). I'm certain we'd be real life friends, not just WHEN I'M BLOGGING!
I had to take down my first comment attempt due to the number of sleep depraved typos included. I hope I got them all.
This is the best and funniest thing I've seen in ages! Thanks for posting it. And your own little version is FAB too. I think you'll find many of us bloggers feel exactly the same, just haven't find the time to compose a little song about it!
ReplyDeletePS - Ruby started nursery and I was tearful but over the moon to have 2 hours own my own. Yay!
Love, love, love the video and your version is fantastic. You must make one of those vlog cartoons of yourself singing it....!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about lack of comments....we're all speechless. I knew what doggy was but didn't know about dogging. Never to old to learn eh :)
ReplyDeleteActually I have had sex in a car.....1982 from memory....
ReplyDelete@Jo - Thank you. Lack of sleep makes for a very insecure blogger. :-)
ReplyDelete@Sandi - I love thinking that I made someone the other side of the world sing. That is just TOO COOL!
@GingerB - I'm sure we'd be real life friends as well. I used to lament that none of you live close by, but now I'm just grateful to have found you all online. I prefer the positive thoughts - always better than regret.
@Victoria - Oh good for you. I think we'll be doing that next month. Then I can finally go to the gym. Hurray!
@nappy valley girl - :-) I wish the vlog program allowed for tunes and rhythm - I would so do that!
@Countess - I aim to educate. ;-)
That's why you get screw-off top beer. Even I have a problem with those.
ReplyDeleteha ha!!
ReplyDelete