My dearest dearest people,
So book club was amazing! Ten(-ish) literate women in a room with cheese, wine, tea and fresh hot brownies. It was heaven. I hadn't realised how much I'd missed having semi-serious, semi-intellectual conversations with other adults. Fair enough, my kids are very clever, but conversations with a clever three or six year old are still of a different nature. Thrilling - yes - but in different way.
I had managed to read about 216 pages of the book in the end (I took the children to the playground during naptime and had a final big read) and that was just fine. As you all suggested, lots of people had given up, never bought the book, or only read reviews. It was still a glorious night.
There is something about Anglo-Saxon culture which makes it easier to fit into a new group. Flemish people will stand back and assess you for the first twenty or so times you meet. After that they will be your friend and accept you, but it takes an awfully long time. English speakers, and especially the expat variety, seem to start off with a more welcoming attitude. Even if it's fake (and I'm not kidding myself, it very well may be), it still makes it much easier to cope with new social settings. I felt very welcome in any case.
I'm sorry for the late report on the book club meeting after telling you all I was worried about going. Life is attacking me from so many sides just now, I can't keep up, and I definitely can't keep up with daily blog posts. Charlie is teething and Marie has an ear infection, so I get about an hour's sleep a night. It's also the holidays so there are trips to the park, sleepovers, pancakes to bake. I do miss you all very much, but the inspiration is simply not there because my brain switches off any chance it gets. Literally. I was sitting in a playcafe earlier and I fell asleep on my chair in the middle of all the noise. Just now it seems like I've been this tired forever and there will never be an end to it. I know rationally that that isn't true and that my senses and my inspiration will return, but I'm not feeling it. Until they do return, know that I love you all and that I haven't willingly deserted you.
From your most devoted yet utterly fatigued blogger,
Mwa
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Sleep well!
ReplyDeleteGlad book club went well. I feel the same about English speaking culture of being friendly, even fake friendly, it gives you a head start, a chance of relaxing and being yourself in new company, rather than being super aware of being judged.
I love that you are an honorary ex-pat :) And I bet all the ex-pats think it's very cool that now they have met a real Belgian person, and found them to be actually rather nice!
ReplyDeleteSleep tight! x
How funny! I'd have said the Brits were very stand-offish and difficult to get to know... Maybe I should just be very grateful I've only moved to Scotland (where to be fair everyone's been very welcoming, but I'm still not sure, a year or so in, if they actually like me....
ReplyDeleteIt's only the southern Brits that are standoffish. Us middle to northerners are very friendly, some of us are even genuine not fake!!! So pleased it went well. Do hope you find an extra 6 hours in every day to catch up on yourself. It will end, they will sleep through in the end and then you'll miss the night cuddles and the lack of sleep... No honestly, you will ;0)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you went, and even happier you had a good time.
ReplyDeleteNow, get some sleep!
And what's your next book?
I keep saying that although my youngest is almost 22 years old, I am still catching up on my sleep.
ReplyDeleteIrmhild and Mwa, I don't think it's fake friendly. I mean, it may not be love at first sight, no, but speaking as a friendly English speaking person, there's a certain casualness and willingness to accept new people that I've found, especially in the blogging world, of course, quite genuine. Things may dissolve into bitchery once we get to know you better, I can't deny that, but the initial openness is real!
ReplyDeleteIn Ireland we tend to confuse people by acting as if we're best soul mates and saying, 'you must come and stay with us if you're ever here'. We might mean it at the time in a nice way, but it's not quite expected to follow through, maybe - in the same way we say 'how's it going?' instead of hello, but we don't really want to know much more than 'it's grand, how are you?' unless it's good friends we're talking to. But that's not the same as fake!
I hope he sleeps soon, Mwa, and teething doesn't last too long. It's such a hard time!
It seems to be the mothers lament 'lack of sleep' yet we still seem to muddle through. My kids are adults and I still get woken up by them!!! So glad you enjoyed your book club, but a bit miffed that you don't think our (meaning your blog friends) conversations are 'semi-serious or even semi-intellectual' Whadda ya mean we are on top of our game hehe.
ReplyDeleteHope all comes good sooner rather than later and you can get a great nights sleep.
x Sandi
Ah! So it seems I am Flemish! I've always book-curious. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I might
ReplyDeleteeven give it a whirl myself.
Great stuff from you, man. I’ve read your stuff before and you’re just too awesome. I love what you’ve got here, love what you’re saying and the way you say it. You make it entertaining and you still manage to keep it smart. I can’t wait to read more from you. This is really a great blog.
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed your book group. Take care of yourself, and get reading for next month!
ReplyDeleteBook group sounds great. I have been getting little snippits of grown-up conversation recently and realising how much I need it.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking of you the other day as I was falling asleep reading some trashy magazine - thinking how crazy you were to be trying to read all that book with all the children and everything! v impressed at the 216 pages.
wishing you some good quality undisturbed sleep!
Really pleased it went well - so do you recommend the book?
ReplyDeleteI don't know if we muddle though - we age, we crumple a bit. I think the sleep dep has really done me harm, even though it's over, for the most part. I don't think I'll ever catch up.
ReplyDelete@Irmhild - It does. And I appreciate it a lot.
ReplyDelete@Rhi - Thank you. I love it too.
@planb - Well, they are, except when they are in structured circumstances like book clubs or baby groups - for some reason they get superfriendly then. I do agree it takes just as long to find out if they like you, but at least in the meantime you get some conversation and company. :-)
@Kelloggsville - I think I put it badly with the fakeness. I mean they will welcome you even if they're not sure about you, but the friendliness is all real, I'm sure.
@Pueblo girl - The next book is David Lodge's Deaf Sentence. I've already ordered it online!
@Ms. Moon - I can believe it. Yawn!
@Jo - I agree I put it clumsily. I should be more nuanced next time. I have the same friendly outlook these days, so I do know what you mean and I agree.
@Sandi - I meant real-life conversations. Of course you're all top class conversationalists.
@All This Trouble - You should!
@fiona - I will! But first I'm finishing this one - it's great.
@LK - Thank you very much.
@Muddling Along - I do! I'm loving it. I'm still reading it even now I don't have to and it's the holidays. I think that says enough.
@Jo - I'm starting to wonder about that, too - if this is doing me permanent harm.
ReplyDelete:(
ReplyDeleteI think it mostly just makes us older sooner. Maybe it's worth going to bed at 8 pm for a while to get a few extra hours sleep, at the cost of an extra few hours me time. Says me - dog tired and unable to cope emotionally, but still staying up til one too many nights for no good reason at all...
AS for putting it clumsily, I didn't mean to take offense at 'fake friendly', just to reassure that I think it's real, if with limitations :)
Glad the book thing went well and you felt welcome. I remember those early days with little tots and no sleep - thank God I didn't have the pressure of blogging back then as it wasn't invented! Hope you get some sleep soon.
ReplyDeleteI tagged you in a post...
ReplyDeletehope you don't mind...
read my last blog to see it.
You are truly inspiring. A book club when you are managing three little ones! Yes, I agree on the adult conversation vs kids conversation observation, that's why I work ;-)
ReplyDeleteEven if you blog once in 6 months. I'll be here waiting to read whatever you write.