Thursday, 26 May 2011

I'm a lay-dee with a plan

Right, people, I will beat this bloody blogger's block if it fucking kills me. One post a day was easier when I still thought it would fascinate you all endlessly if I reported on my every fart. (Not that I ever fart, mind you, because I am a lay-dee.)

My ongoing sleepless nights have me sitting in the sofa "watching" pre-recorded TV shows during morning naptime instead of blogging (I'd admit to being slumped over, snoring, and drooling out of the side of my face if I wasn't a lay-dee). And then there's my frigging diet, which is making the kilos melt away (slowly, slowly, eaty monkey) but it's making me feel rather empty-headed and lethaaargic.

But all this crap has a bright side as well, of course: while I have absolutely no inspiration when I'm faced with the dreaded and seemingly endless white space of the "New post" page, I have now gone a whole six weeks without being asked when my baby is due. I have also, in the last nine months, had only one bout of self-induced insomnia. A record, surely. But it does rather limit the idle blog time.

Nevermind, dearest people. All this is a thing of the past. I have decided that as soon as Charlie's fourth tooth breaks through fully, he will be the best sleeper we've ever had. Also, I am taking a daily vitamin supplement to increase my energy levels (with ginseng, people, this is foolproof) so I will no longer need my morning naps. Now all I need to do is sabotage my offline social life, and I'll be back to blogging away my new-found sleepless nights.

I really don't know why they haven't put me in charge of the UN yet. I'm such a planner.

19 comments:

  1. I thought you were in charge of the UN! This is a fine how-do-you-do!

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  2. I can't win! Offline social life sabbotaged, or less Mwa posts. Can't you sabbotage your sex life, or your family's home-cooked dinners instead? ;)

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  3. Pah on the diet - I think you deserve a piece of chocolate cake - chocolate has many redeeming and energizing qualities :)

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  4. Oh honey. We love you no matter what. Gotta take care of what's important.

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  5. I am thinking your food should be giving you energy. So, it sounds like you need to rethink what you're eating. Too little of the right things, maybe? Essential fatty acids etc? Energy food doesn't have to be sugary or carby, I guess.

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  6. What Jo says, or, if you're stuck, food to make you fart.
    Believe me, we will read it.

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  7. @Marinka - I was for a bit, but I kept falling asleep.

    @Rhi - You're right. If I stop having sex and home-cooked dinners, I would probably gain a whole hour a week for blogging. Thanks! :-)

    @Tanya - You are now my guru.

    @Ms. Moon - Yeah. It's a bummer, though, because I miss you interwebs a lot.

    @Jo - I'm thinking you are right. I'm just so so desperate to get into my clothes at last I'm starving myself too much. Must, must, must come up with a better plan.

    @tinman18 - If you're stuck. *giggles*

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  8. I hate being exhausted, it ruins everything. You don't feel inspired for much when you're exhausted, let alone blogging! Don't sweat it and for god's sake don;t put any more pressure on yourself! And Im with Tanya. More chocolate can only be a good thing. x

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  9. Starving yourself will result in blood sugar dips and putting more of the energy into fat the next time you eat. Experts recommend you don't do that. Serious face*

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  10. Way to go you! Congratulations Lay-dee! Baby Wise book-saved my life. Finn was sleeping like a champ. If you don't want to pay for it, I can send you an email I send my friends as soon as they pop out a kid. It is the only thing that saved my life that first year. Just email me if you want me to send it to you!

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  11. Just thank you for this post. xo

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  12. wait...why...no sleepp....still....omg....i'm so tired.

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  13. Darling, with three babies in the house , filling the page with xoxoxos would be fabulous.

    So come and give me the third degree on mycomparison between a business and a baby.

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  14. Sounds like a plan to me. I need a plan, too. Ginseng you said? xx

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  15. Eh, I know the lack of energy having been sick this last week, crappity crap.
    You got a plan though, thats good.
    'She's a laydee, oh, oh, oh, she's a laydee' Tom Jones - are you singing it now??
    x Sandi

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  16. there's nothing worse than feeling starved and low on energy, especially with kids around! jo is totally right, listen to her! And listen to your body... a friend of mine lost loads of weight AND got lots more energy by cutting out dairy. He had lots of little health problems and low energy, so he went and got a blood test done, which revealed he was sensitive to dairy protein, amongst another few things. He cut it out, but didn't starve himself at all, and lost 1.5 stone! And he eats (dark) chocolate almost every day!!

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  17. (what i mean is, if you feel there might be certain foods that aren't agreeing with you, you could try to cut them out. it's important to still get all the nutrients though so you might have to eat more other foods or you'll still be starving and tired...)

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  18. oh, pffft. Do you have anyone in your offline social life who hangs on your every word as we do? Really? Fuck, I don't. Now I'm jealous. I should probably also get off my ass and get back on my diet. Just as soon as I finish this cookie, I promise.

    So I bet you are all ready to hire me as your assistant when you start working a the UN.

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