Child of mine (CofM): Can I have an ice cream, please?I swear it's the best trick ever. They're so prepared to hear "no" that the initial "yes" completely throws them and they don't even complain.
Me: Yes, you can - tomorrow afternoon.
CofM: Mama, can I join my friend's football team?
Me: Yes, when you have completed all your swimming lessons.
CofM: Mama, can I have a puppy?
Me: Yes, when you are an adult, not living at home any more, and you never want me to visit again.
Perhaps this trick is getting to be too much of a reflex if one starts using it on one's husband. Hypothetically speaking, of course.
B (initial, could stand for any husband really): You coming to bed?Oops.
Me: Yes, in ten minutes.
Still worked. Ha!
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Hypothetically? I find that one works for pretty much everything...
ReplyDeleteyes, I absolutely disagree, in my house we 'let our yes be yes, and our no be no now'. Are you singing it yet? "you keep telling me yes, but you don't mean it" love that song!
ReplyDeletetruly an important skill for every parent to develop!
ReplyDeleteAh, but do they remember that you promised the ice cream tomorrow afternoon? Mine always do (sigh). I've solved the puppy one, though - I told them they can definitely have a hamster. One day.
ReplyDeleteLove this and I will be using it all the time from now.
ReplyDeleteDamn. This may be the secret of the Universe. Thanks, Mwa!
ReplyDeleteMy husband did that with the dog question for ages. "Sure you can have a dog - when you're 25 and living on your own".
ReplyDeleteBrilliant advice! Right now I have a three year old who throws tantrums at the drop of a hat every time I say no. Maybe this reverse psychology will do the trick.
ReplyDeletebrilliant, and yes, this is in lots of self-help books especially for parents that feel like they say "no" a lot...
ReplyDeleteyou are still brilliant...
Makes mental note of new technique...! Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteKids use psychology, too, like aim higher than what you really want.
ReplyDeleteMy niece asked "can I have a pony?". When told no, she said "well then, can I have a rabbit?"
She now has a rabbit.
This is excellent advice.
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome, never heard of it before. I will utilize it immediately if not sooner! My trick it choices. Always give 2 choices or explain the consequences. That way they feel in control and it doesn't become a power struggle. Let me give you an example (because I'm pretending you care)!
ReplyDeleteWould you like milk or juice to drink?
-I don't care if he chooses milk or juice but if I ask what he wants to drink he might say soda...and then it's not something I want him to have.
-You can have a Popsicle if you finish your dinner.
-I'm done.
-OK-but you didn't finish your dinner so no Popsicle.
-But I want it.
-Yes, I know. I'm sorry you made that choice. If you want a Popsicle you need to finish your dinner.
I also use that a lot with his picking up his toys-if he doesn't then I pick them up but he won't get them back for a long while.
That is pretty damn brilliant! Will try it soon..
ReplyDelete